


Alone

by WillowLong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crowley and Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Crowley, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:30:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowLong/pseuds/WillowLong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had only been a few months since Bobby Singer had been taken from him. Only a few months since he had been able to sleep or eat. Since he had been able to put down the bottle of Craig. His eyes were a never ceasing shade of red from a mixture of sleep derivation, alcohol and tears that had long since dried up.</p><p>*EDIT*<br/>It doesn't look like shit now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

It had only been a few months since Bobby Singer had been taken from him. Only a few months since he had been able to sleep or eat. Since he had been able to put down the bottle of Craig. His eyes were a never ceasing shade of red from a mixture of sleep deprivation, alcohol and tears that had long since dried up. He could no longer concentrate on his work and gave up trying after the first month. Without any direction Hell was going to, well, Hell and he didn't care. He had lost the only thing he would ever care about. Of course he did still continue making deals. Hell needed to stay in business somehow.

 

"Alright. So what is it I can do for ya?" Crowley swayed under the street light in the center of the crossroad. He had a half empty bottle of his favorite scotch gripped tightly in his hand. The young lady who summoned him kept her distance, the smell of alcohol obvious in the cool night air.

 

"Are you drunk?" She took a step closer.

 

"No. No, I'm not drunk. Now, are we going to do this or can I leave?" Crowley didn't want to be here. He was only a few miles from what was left of Singer Auto Salvage.

 

"Yeah. So, how exactly does this work?" The young lady stood firmly in front of the intoxicated demon.

 

"You tell me what you want, I grant said request and in ten years, you spent the rest of eternity in hell. Quite literally." Crowley hiccupped and nearly threw up managing to stop himself before he wasted any of the amber liquid.

 

"Ok. Well, I want Andrew to love me. I want him to marry me. I want to live happily ever after with him." The girl handed Crowley a picture of a dark haired man with dark rimmed glasses.

 

Crowley eyed the picture for a moment before handing it back to what he thought was the woman, who had to moved three paces to her right to grab it. He felt his heart drop into his now worn and dull dress shoes. He was going to give this woman what she wanted. He was going to give her the one thing he could never have and in ten years, she would be as miserable as he was.

 

"Done." Crowley turned to walk away.

 

"That's it? No blood letting? No signing? No handshake? Just 'done'?" The lady asked.

 

"Normally we kiss on it but I'll take your word."

 

Crowley was in no mood for physical contact. Especially from someone he envied to the point of hatred. He took another swig from the now nearly empty bottle as he stumbled along the dark dirt road heading in the direction on the old Singer place.

 

It took him nearly an hour before he saw the familiar sign above the wreckage of the old auto lot Bobby called a yard. His body began to shake and he leaned on an old fence post spilling the contents of his stomach on the ground and his suit. Tears swelled in his eyes and he let out a deep sob and once again retched over the fence. He wandered through the yard silently, tears blurring his vision. He managed to find his way to what used to be a house through his blind wandering and collapsed to his knees. 

 

If he hadn't have been drunker than your uncle on thanksgiving he would have noticed the Impala parked just a few feet away from him. The boys had come to try and salvage what little of Bobby's library was left when they spotted a man staggering up the drive. It wasn't long before they recognized the short, well tailored suit now filthy from the dirt roads.

 

Crowley's breathing had reduced itself to quick, short bursts threatening hyperventilation. He struggled against it and shouted into the calm night air.

 

"Aughh! I hate this bloody world!" He managed to scream through his sobs and swigs from the bottle. He emptied it and whimpered into his sleeve just like a small child would. He didn't notice the two boys standing within hearing distance of him. Just watching.

 

"Dean...is he...crying?"

 

"Yeah, Sammy. I think he is."

 

"Why?"

 

"Don't know."

 

Crowley attempted to stand up, falling right back to his knees. A fresh wave of tears began leaking from his eyes.

 

"I'm sorry, Robert. I'm so sorry. I wish I never had made that damned deal with you. I wish I never set eyes on that bloody face of yours. Even now, after all of this time, I can still smell your aftershave when I'm alone and had a bit too much to drink. I can feel the pattern of your worn flannel under my fingertips. The pleasantly painful scratch of your beard on my face. A feeling that I wish I had gotten to experience more than I did."

 

He paused to take a drink only to realized he had emptied the bottle and threw it unknowingly in the direction of the Winchesters.

 

"Your boys, our boys, they tried to turn me back into a human. I wish they would have followed through, Robert. I would have repented and we could be together right now. I can't stand living anymore, love. I can't even snuff it. I'd just end up back where I began. Sometimes I wonder if it would really be so bad to just have the Moose exercise me. At least then I wouldn't have to deal with the constant pain of missing you. Your pale eyes. The way they seem to hold fire when you were pissed at me. I always wondered what they would hold if you had ever allowed me to touch you. Now, I'll never know."

 

He buried his face in his dirty hands and another wave of tears and hyperventilation shook him to the core. He tilted his wet face to the sky.

 

"I love you, Robert. Please! Hear me. Show me you can hear me! Show me! I love you! I'm so sorry!" He collapsed to the ground, his body laying in the dirt sobbing like a child who lost their mother.

 

"Dean. We have to do something. We can't just leave him there. He's a wreck."

 

"Ughh. I know. Come on."

 

They walked over to where Crowley had curled up into a shaky ball. "Come on big man. Let’s get you out of here." Dean lifted the smaller man to his feet.

 

"I can't leave. He needs me here. He needs me to stay here where he can find me. I can't go. I'm sorry, Robert. I love you."

 

"Come on Crowley." Sam lifted his in his arms and carried him, sobbing to the Impala and put him in the backseat. He climbed in next to Dean and they started to drive.

 

"Wait!" Sam jumped out of the car and ran back in the direction of the house. He picked up something off the ground and can back with it. It was one of Bobby's old hats.

 

"He needs something Dean." He looked in the backseat at the grown man reduced to a puddle of tears and handed him the ball cap.

 

"Bobby wanted you to have this. He said, it’s so he'll always be with you." 

 

Crowley took in in his shaking hands and held it to his face, nuzzling it like it was a stuffed bear. constantly muttering "I love you, Robert. I'm sorry. So sorry."

 

It wasn't long before the combination of Scotch, three months without sleep and the comfort of the ball cap had him sleeping in the backseat of his enemy's car.

 

"Dean. What just happened?"

 

"Well, Sam. I think Crowley was in love with Bobby."

 

"We can't let him keep going on like this. I thought I wanted to see Crowley suffer, but this. This is just wrong." From the backseat they heard an unmistakable mutter of 'Robert'.

 

"I know Sammy. I know."

 

_ Crowley knocked on the door to the old Singer place. He never knocked before. He waited patiently after the yell of 'Gimme a second' from inside. Bobby answer the door in his usual worn t-shirt and jeans. As soon as he opened the door a smile spread across his face. _

 

_ "Crowley" he pulled the smaller man in his arms. _

 

_ "Robert." _

 

_ "I promise I'll never leave you again. I love you, Crowley." _

 

_ "I love you, Robert." _

 


End file.
